The couple was born with osteogenesis imperfecta Type 3 (OI) and together have had over 400 bone fractures throughout their lives.
Jay Manuel and Pamela Chavez’s zest for life is immediately apparent while watching their new TLC reality series, “Jay & Pamela.” But Jay is the first to admit that he hasn’t always had an easy time staying positive while navigating brittle bone disease.
“I had a lot of internalized ableism before we met, and (Pamela) showed me that I could be disabled and proud to be disabled,” he tells TODAY.com over Zoom.
Before meeting his wife, who has the same rare condition, Jay says he “shied away from” the term “disabled.” These days, his more open about his journey.
“Now I’m at a place where I want to talk about it. I want to shout it from the rooftops and educate people and speak about it,” Jay says.
Both Jay and Pamela were born with osteogenesis imperfecta Type 3 (OI), which the Cleveland Clinic describes as a “genetic disease that makes your bones thin and brittle.” Pamela, 30, and Jay, 28, are 3 feet 4 inches tall and together have had over 400 bone fractures throughout their lives.
They deal with chronic pain, in which they take various pain medications to help manage, and they also encounter physical challenges on a daily basis.
“Of course, both being little people, we can’t reach our cabinets too well, so that’s why we have to utilize mobility aids like grabbers and things like that just to make our lives a lot easier,” Jay explains.
To get around, the couple uses mobilized wheelchairs with elevator seats that rise so they can reach certain items and live more independently.
“A lot of those physical challenges are just something that we kind of learned to deal with and live with even when it is hard because it’s all that we’ve known and this is the way that we were born. So we just have learned to adapt and navigate those obstacles as they come,” Jay says.
Jay and Pamela’s love story
After meeting online, Jay and Pamela fell in love and Pamela moved from Missouri to Georgia to live with her beau.
“Moving to a different state felt so easy because he felt like home and he felt like peace,” Pamela says.
Pamela describes her husband, who is a transgender man, as “a very positive person” and says he has “golden retriever” energy.
“He brings me a lot of joy, and he has helped with my mental health. I used to be afraid of going to therapy and he was going to therapy already when I met him. Seeing how it was going so well for him, it got me curious. I’m like, ‘Let me give that a try.’ So thanks to him, my mental health has gotten better,” she says.
Meanwhile, Jay says his wife has helped him develop “more confidence” and “forever changed” his life. He also credits her with supporting him when he was diagnosed with autism.
“She encouraged me to get diagnosed and that definitely was freeing for me because I always felt like something was going on,” he says.
When Pamela relocated to Georgia, she gained an instant support system since she and Jay started living in his parent’s finished basement apartment.
“They have been such a huge blessing,” she says.
Navigating life with osteogenesis imperfecta
In a recent episode of “Jay & Pamela,” the couple discussed their desire to move out of Jay’s parent’s home and into a place of their own. Achieving this level of independence is important to the couple, but Pamela says people often assume it’s out of reach, given their physical limitations.
“People have misconceptions, just in general, when it comes to people with disabilities, that we’re not capable of living a regular adult life, that we’re not capable of making our own decisions, or we can’t manage our own finances or (we’re) not capable of getting married,” she explains.
Pamela works in the bilingual team of a large corporate company, while Jay works as a music producer and is known by the name of Mini Producer.
Pamela acknowledges that “independence looks different for everyone,” and says she and Jay look forward to moving out on their own.
Jay and Pamela’s stature is often the first thing people notice, and they often field questions about their disability. Rather than getting frustrated by people’s curiosity, the couple is pretty open about how OI impacts their lives.
“We don’t necessarily shy away from answering questions or talking about different topics. It really just depends on how we’re approached. how it’s said. That makes a huge difference in how the conversation flows,” Jay says.
Couples goals
Jay and Pamela have already accomplished so much together, but Pamela says it feels like they’re “just getting started.”
“I would love to get into acting, get in a comedy show. I would love to do that or do something in Spanish in entertainment. I also love to sing. I’m trying to get rid of my stage fright. That’s the only thing that’s holding me back – the stage fright part – and modeling, so we’ll see,” she says.
Jay sees more music production in his future along with voice acting and acting. After appearing in a New York Fashion Week runway show for models with disabilities in 2023, he’s also hoping to dabble in more modeling jobs. Landing the cover of GQ is another dream.
“I’ve been talking about this for years, so I’d love to be on magazine covers getting into high fashion,” he says.
Jay and Pamela are proud pet parents to a dog named Cheddar and Jay admits that he’d like to get a second pet. The couple is also considering becoming parents one day.
“As for human children, that’s a conversation that we’ve talked about and I feel like we’re just taking it day by day in that department. If the future holds that, that’s great, you know, I think we’d be great parents. However, right now we are dog parents, which is good for me.”
“It’s good practice,” Pamela adds.
When Jay and Pamela decided to share their story in a reality series, they decided the show needed to be both authentic and positive.
“If you meet one disabled person or you now meet two, you’ve only met two of us, right? And so that goes with all of the intersectionality that’s shown throughout the show is that our experience is only two separate experiences that we’re sharing,” Jay says.
Since the show premiered, Jay and Pamela have been thrilled with the feedback they’ve received from viewers.
“Overall, it has been a very positive response. And for people that may not enjoy it, that’s also fine. That’s just what you get. You’re going to get some negatives with some positives. But I think it’s also about perspective and we’re just grateful that we are doing what we can to put out a positive message. All we can do is be ourselves,” Jay says.
